There are many things that are seen as innocent in childhood, there are many things that or parents thought were beneficial to our development as human beings, that there are also things that were just harmless fun. Books by Enid Bylton have long been removed from the shelves of schools though out the land, but a greater danger remains; Asterix Comics!
What I hear you laugh, Asterix can’t be a danger, but let me explain my reasoning. Asterix comics use what seems like gentle humour to enforce strong stereotyping into the young mind. Lets start with a very simple example shall we?
Obelix, Asterix’s best friend and companion in his adventures has two major features, he is incredibly strong, and rather stupid. What can we get from this, it’s that strong people are thick. Its no wholes bared, either you are athletic or brainy, just from this one character. Lets take this one stage further and look at his job, he manufactures and delivers Menhirs, what is this saying? I’ll tell you, that all minors, and workers in the primary industries are also lacking intelligence and are best employed bashing bits of rocks with hammers.
Obelix is also portrayed as a victim, a victim of circumstance that all the others in his village take advantage of, is it really because he is incredibly strong that he goes on these adventures, or is it because the comic book is saying that stupid people are there to be taken advantage of. When he was you, the elders of the village must have brainwashed this normally gentle giant to have a hatred of Romans and use him as a weapon against him.
Who is charged with that responsibility now, Asterix. After all, what is his job? I believe that he is the village con-man, never seen to be doing much except walking in the forest and sleeping in front of his house, yet he still shops. Where does he get the money? Possibly it is that he is a thief, he is small enough to climb through any window, but I doubt that, he is always seen as the cunning warrior and his brains save the village, so what better occupation than to gently extort money from a populous that values him so greatly.
Of course Asterix’s greatest weapon against the Romans is his magic potion which is brewed by the rather ominously named Getafix. There is no doubt in my mind that Asterix comics promote the use of narcotics amongst the youth that read them. On first principles, here is a drink that gives you a huge feeling of self-confidence and makes you want to start fights with people. Substitute Romans for policemen or bouncers and there you are, it’s alcohol. If only it were all that simple. No this is far worse, we have evidence of what prolonged effects do, Obelix has got to be that thick for a reason; the drug mashes your brain, rather like steroids.
Getafix is basically the village drug dealer, again you see he has no other means of making an income, so he pedals this and other drugs to a naive village. Druid yes, but who far is he really from being the equivalent of a drug baron, he has the whole of his patch addicted except one, and that one is the greatest advert anyway.
Now lets move away from the main characters for a moment and look at Geriatrix, the old man. If here was ever a stereotype it is his portrayal of an old French man. He is a forceful xenophobe, fitting as he comes from the only country in Western Europe (Austria in my opinion is central) to have prominent far-right politicians with a lot of power. He is fond of the odd drink, and more than that he is a party animal, and has managed to pick up a young and attractive wife. How does he do it, simple, she’s after his money. He is an old soldier, and also pick up a pension, what the comics are saying is that if she can afford the dresses that she wears, his pension must be pretty high, too high in fact. Or is that really the case, I have a sneaking suspicion that she is a prostitute and he is her pimp. This is much more likely, she wears trashy dresses, in a town were there seem to be far more men than women, and he must not be able to do it any more (there are still about 2045 years to go until Viagra becomes available), and where is the post office for him to collect his pension?
We also see the businessmen of the village, all two of them; Fulliautomatix and Unhygenix. Lets take Unhygenix first, he is as close as we are going to come to a French farmer. His fish come direct from Paris, not from the sea, so they are not fresh and must be rotting already, given that there are no tractors and lorries to block the roads then, I suppose it must be more convent now than then. Then think of this, what do all the village eat? Boar. Again the French farmer is behind the times and not onto modern concepts.
Now lets take Fulliautomatix as an example, he is the arms-merchant. A respected businessman yes, but still he deals in weapons of (in the hands of the tanked up villagers) mass destruction. This is from the country that only very recently stopped irradiating small pacific islands.
Now where do I head in my character assignation of this prized asset of French literature, I head to the top, chief Vitalstatistix. He is always above the other villagers, held above them on a different level. This is the French’s opinion of government, the only country in the West where anarchy would be an improvement (Italy already has it, virtually anyway). And look at his wife, Impedimenta, she is always gagging, bossing about, wanting to be one of the elite, again hoping that marrying the top bloke will boost her social standing with her relatives. Is her name another bigoted French attack on woman?
Please just briefly consider the pirates, and one in particular, the black man in the crow's nest, who is the savage cannibal. Don’t say that this isn’t racist.
Now as I enter the home straight, lets look at the views of the Gauls on other nations, firstly there are the British, who always stop at 5 for hot water and milk and drink warm beer. They also seem to be rather too fascinated with their gardens. The Germans are the savage and stupid Goths, the Scandinavians are the even more savage Normans, and the Greeks are all cousins who are rather money grabbing. The Phoneticians, who come from the modern Israel are also only interested in money. But I suppose the Romans come in for the most stick as they are what is seen as authority and the army. In a country where national service still applies the army is an obvious target and their incompetence in capturing just a small corner of France with superior weapons and manpower is being laughed at constanly.